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November 30th, 2009
04:49 pm
". The classic example here is “hysteria” (today called somatoform borderline personality disorder.) Just one simple example: a person with borderline may have two basic states, one where she is cutting herself, projecting hostile motives on others, and screaming alot, or one where she is calm but she is manipulating others around her into violence, hostility, and suspicion. This “externalizing” acts as some kind of balance of her “internal” state. Getting other people to hold her “disorganization” is calming. Here we see consciousness distributed across individuals, in a way that cannot be reduced, from what I can tell, to the “simple” problems of how a brain works. No medication for anxiety or mood impacts a change at this level for the borderline, which is why it is an Axis II disorder – personality disorder. It is rooted at a more complicated level, not a more base level – it is a problem of the total organism, not the isolated brain."
wut?
lol. first off, saying that consciousness is effected by things outside the brain is kind of duh. but i am more interested in this characterization of BPD. acts normal, drives everyone around her to madness? i am trying to imagine what this would be like... how one can manipulate other people to act crazy. and i am coming up short. imagination fail. being provoking and whatnot, to garner specific reactions from people? that doesn't seem to be what this author is implying, or if it is, he seems to draw really odd conclusions from it... *sigh*
i need to stop reading blogs.
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12:25 pm
this morning teh cat marked my laptop as well as me, as its territory. stay tunned for updates.....
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November 20th, 2009
11:35 am
coffee + the sound/sight of rain = heaven. i am so glad i have a window.
today i feel very appreciative of life. i shall hang on to it.
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November 9th, 2009
04:45 am
wo0t. good morning me. my dad finally came to his senses. meaning i am gonna have a real place to live soon. and privacy. gloooooooooorious.
i dunno if i am looking forward to this week. i have a lot to do :/
also i really need to figure out how to make this cream of wheat without chunks o.o
just seems like to small an amount to cook on teh stovetop.... but eh if it eliminates the problem. cause thats jus really gross to me. something "wrong" about that kind of texture. ah well, i think more vigorous stirring would do it. hence stovetop.
i've begun a program to minimize the weight gain from smoking. its strange, i actually eat like a human being now lol. breakfast, lunch, dinner, plus snacks. and most of it isn't a giant bag of lays. it feels good.
also i find myself beginning to slip into a marginally unhealthy mindset... a "me against the world" weariness. as if no one else ever thinks about things and i am drowning in a sea of absurdity. i wonder how many people who i would find horrifying think the same thing. probably most. lol. theres more but i can't wrap my head around it this early in the morning...
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November 8th, 2009
06:32 pm
GAH. my dad hath made being unreasonable into an art. he bitches that i don't pay for anything. i offer to pay, to take on more responsibility. he refuses. arbitrarily. its simply a display of power. complete nonsense. i can make you feel guilty, i can prevent you from obtaining what you want... good for you you angry bitter man. i can be happy. you should try it sometime.
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November 7th, 2009
05:10 am
good morning starshine!
i am finally decently rested and decently breakfasted.*phew
when i get home i will have to work on that ridiculous paper. why is my professor such a douche? i guess that has little to do with the paper. so it goes.
i walked in the rain a lot yesterday. maybe two hours? somewhere around the first hour i thought OMG I CAN'T GO ON. i was startin to get pretty cold there. but i did and it wasn't particularly torturous. silly example? maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe. but its a pattern. stuff's never as bad as i think it will be. i think i need to constantly remind myself of that fact.
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November 6th, 2009
04:50 am
still hate mornings. at least this time i remembered to eat chocolate!
lmao the radio host has a british accent and his name is kingsly. KINGSLY!
i think the world needs more cello sonatas also.
but really. i am proud of myself. i woke up, have been waking up. no more icky oversleeping.
lol maybe i should set my alarm for later...
i am already bored and anxious to leave. but i have to at least finish this coffee; i mean c'mon. C'MON.
i'm not sure why i repeatedly attempt to engage people who refuse to play fair. after a certain points its just stupidity. like throwing oneself against a brick wall.
on the other hand.... well it would matter if there were anything i could do.
tis rather strange how caffeine addiction is acceptable to all... or almost all. people are feindish in their devotion. cause it helps us go. why not adderall eh?
which reminds me i randomly tell coworkers tidbits of fact about nicotine and they're like oh uh huh thanks... but... they don't care. i think its interesting! being angry depletes nicotine from the blood which is why it makes you crave... tada... moar nicotine! so when you feel better really its jus you not craving nicotine anymore, not you actually being calmer in any real sense. in a way thats a relief because you are no longer feeling nicotine withdrawl, but that jus brings you up to the level a normal, nonsmoking person would be at to begin with. (side note: i am getting better at not overreacting to things i think. woohoo!) explains the weirdness between cigarettes causing adrenaline release and smokers reporting a feeling of "calm". FECKIN ADDICTS. *ahem*
what else? hmmmmm. guess nothing much. growth of my cocaine nail is going exceedingly well. tis quite odd having one long nail but... eh. super fun to play with.
tonight i have to work on my essay no matter how little i care.
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November 5th, 2009
12:54 pm
QuitMeter Counter courtesy of www.quitmeter.com.
furthermore, i have tickets to see morrissey dec. 2nd and muse dec. 12. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. did i mention? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ah, its a good day today.
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November 4th, 2009
05:01 am
i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning i hate morning.
phew. i feel lots better now.
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October 27th, 2009
11:02 pm
its been a crazy few days.
1 week, 1 day, 22 hours, 3 minutes since i quit smoking forever.
i feel very volatile... very vulnurable. needy. i hate feeling needy.
if you think about it though, i was much needier before... a slave to my damn cigarettes. and damn they messed up my brain. i haven't had mood swings this bad since i was 18...
10 minute walk to the bus stop.... i think i had like 5 distinct mood swings right there.
thank god, when i am not acting crazy i feel great. inspired... alive. i feel in love with life. everything seems so exciting and full of promise... maybe this is a mood swing too lmao i am starting to sound ridiculous.
gah i am so proud of myself. i had a dream last night that i smoked and was full of panic and loathing... waking up to realize it was a dream was yuuuuuuuuuuum delicious.
every day i get a little more free :-D
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July 12th, 2009
04:08 am
funny. i came on vacation and i still feel like poo.
thats not good...
i hope its just all the things that have been going on lately... or even hormones hell. i am not supposed to feel like poo all the time.
i dunno today was nice.... relaxing... fun. so... what gives? same shiz happened last night, though i did get in a huge fight, which probably caused that. i guess i just feel like nothing is going right. i feel tired inside. i keep having crazy ideas >.>
i suck. part of me still wants to force the damn world to be "fair". its not. grow up. and then i just have a bunch more stuff to add to my list of failures. all these nasty ideas floating in my head... i just need to sleep. things to see tomorrow. giving up is fucking stupid.
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January 21st, 2009
11:30 pm - under the influence
lots of thinking today. about me, cause i'm special :P
always been a bit obsessed with why i like the things i like. figuring it out as i go. music is the easiest. i find most of it pleasant. need extra reasons to why. familiarity. so why do certain bands get the nod? epimusical features. who introduced me? did i have a profound experience listening to one of their songs? do they remind me of someone or something that i like? what is this band associated with in my head. and so on and so forth. so really, the quality of the music has little effect, except that clearly certain types of music appeal to me more. the energy thing again.
that doesn't really bother me. its just music, a way that i entertain myself. who cares why i like the bands i like as long as they bring me pleasure. but then it becomes more problematic, because it seems i am prone to accept or reject ideologies on somewhat the same basis. i know have inclinations, leaning one way or the other, but i tend to leave them alone, as seeds or whathaveyou, until i encounter them somewhere in the world, and then depending on who is expounding upon them, my views of the subject become more or less favorable. and then i maybe start to obsess over them. sometimes. but if i'm not reinforced by something outside i tend to forget. get distracted whatever... guess thats the ADDish side of me. but i mean, i always come back to stuff, bang around with it awhile and forget again... blah. taking classes helps. the external structure helps me focus my thoughts. damn focus... all hard and shiz. think it boils down to two things. mental laziness and longing for approval. both of which i am very aware of, so combating them shouldn't be too hard. guess i always knew this stuff, or have known it for a long time, but was never able to really consider it before. or rather, i avoided considering it because along with the consideration came a condemnation of sorts. how dare you let others affect you at all!? its human nature. i can't be completely free from outside influences no matter how hard i try. unless i cut myself off from others completely. BUT i can be aware of the influences and factor that in to the decision making process. wo0tage.
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January 6th, 2009
01:14 am - SOCRATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
wheeee started in the lab today. and fell into a hole and managed to climb out right quick. was beautiful. also i really need to sleep but i don't wanna.
it all seems so beautiful in my head, these grand plans, keeping busy... but i'm gonna have like, no time for me. i can see myself beginning to fray. doesn't mean it will happen though. just have to be aware of factors effecting my mood and do best to combat them. i need some kind of calming technique that doesn't take hours of spacing out/sleeping/whatever. something i can do in like half an hour to keep myself going. well what do i find relaxing? nothing? i can do better than this...
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December 21st, 2008
12:18 am - DUMBLEDOOOOORE!!!
yeah, stuck in my head. boooo.
been reading journal entries from freshman year of college... gah! started out bad, got worse, got insaaaaane... pretty much every setence outta my mouth (fingers?) was i fuckin hate you you should kill yourself you lazy beeotch. its all i could think about. that and morrissey. LOL
compared to that, this livejournal is tame. and THATS saying something.
its interesting how my thought processes matured over time. and how i'm so obsessed with it, hehe. i think i'm afraid that i lost myself along the way a little... like i became too influenced, let myself be swept away by some ideal. but if its my ideal how is it a betrayal to become it? odd... i guess i just like looking for traces of it. was in very rudamentary form back then, LOL. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. but then i would go on, i want to do XYZ but I CAN'T!!!! WAAAAAAH!
then i guess it was more of a find the fatal flaw thing, and lets give up every other week for the heck of it.
and now? things are as they are, the choices are in my hands. at least for the moment, it feels good.
i went today with a friend downtown, to meet up with her friends... man it was awful. one of her friends was a psychotic klepto, stealing things from multiple stores and then bragging about it. and you can tell she does it all the time cause she was really brazen about it. just walking out with stolen merchandise in her hands sometimes. ridiculous. i got more and more disgusted, til i finally left. never even made it to the party.
and now daddy dearest is in the next room mumbling to himself about how he wants to be dead, and how theres no joy for him. trying to manipulate me into getting involved no doubt so he can attempt to stomp on me. was beautiful though, today evan stood up to him, point blank. called him on his shiz. there was a lil twinkle in my eye there. i think he might be ok. and awwwwwww came home from church today and just hugged me. was awesome.
<3
i am never ever ever doing that again. *shudders*
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December 11th, 2008
05:33 pm - yay good quote
"What has seeped into our consciousness is censorship masquerading as a protective, rather than oppressive, force. Most pernicious is the notion that ideas, like people, should be afforded protection."
ideas don't need protecting. ideas need to be questioned, need to be in competition with other ideas. how else can we find truth? if its not a good idea, its not worth protecting. if it is, it will hold up against attacks. at least if people choose to be reasonable, which i honestly think they do more often than not. or can. anyways shouldn't pander to fools.
i've had this stupid moz song stuck in my head all day. "if you don't like me, don't look at me". its a little catchy, the lyrics are pathetic, the theme even moreso... but it makes me laugh, probably for those reasons. plus i think its appropriate, and true. at least the title.
all the classes i wanted were full :(
guess thats what i get for putting off signing up for them so long... i still got two that i wanted but on the wrong days, and one just random one that i pulled outta my arse... hopefully will work out. on some level i wish i could be a student forever. yeah can be stressful, but i think that i gain a lot more knowledge from taking a class than by studying independently... helps with focus i think. otherwise end up clicking from article to article until my eyes blur and my mind shuts down.
eh should try and get food before its too late. IDEAS DO NOT NEED PROTECTING DAMN YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!
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December 2nd, 2008
03:33 pm
stuck in craziness this week. seems that everything decided to suck at once. or maybe i should blame everything on the lack of smokes...
har har.
anyways... yeah. will be off spacing out or reading or whatever... and *smack*
what is this? why are you doing this? *looks around*
why is anyone doing anything? *gets annoyed*
why should i make all these efforts against my will to do things and care about things and "win" things that make no difference really?
and then i laugh at everyone else who is going crazy over daily life things and wonder why they give a flip.
and then i realize that train of thought must apply to me too... and no matter how hard i think it i don't stop caring. so i'm missing something. it matters to ME.
and then i think, oh, well i can fix that... can't be disappointed if theres no one to dissappoint.
but then i feel like a dumbass and curse my fear and weakness. i have 3 options, always. change behavior, change standards, or die. and by default my brain seems to steer my towards 3 (how the hell did my genes survive!?!?) but i don't want to go there. so i try to change my behavior, and its hard. so i try to question my standards, and modifying them feels like cheating. like poisoning. and so back to 3. but not. because that is ridiculous. as always must weed out the absurd and unreasonable from expectations. kinda figure i'm mostly bored. how boring right?
really though, i have nothing to think about so i think about nothingness. its quite clever really. passes the time. plus making myself miserable makes me feel special on the side. so stoooopid. lololololol.
but i am pointing it out to myself and laughing. got to mean something, right?
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November 20th, 2008
05:01 pm - today
hmmm was having a smoke before class and these two old ladies came out of the building talking... the one apparantly takes notes for 7 kids in her class, and makes them flashcards for them and all this stuff... she goes on and on about how they need to learn that getting good grades takes work and how they need to study harder etc etc... and she didn't seem to realize that she was teaching them the exact opposite... that you don't have to work hard because theres always someone else out there to work hard for you... *sighs*
i'm not sure if it actually bothers me or if i just find it amusing. i really wanted to interrupt them. i almost did. several times. to question their assumptions, hehe. buuuuuuuuut i guess i figured it wasn't worth the trouble because i said nothing and laughed to myself all the way here.
things locked in my head do nothing for anyone. but i guess it was really none of my business. should find someone who cares/something that matters. and then waste energy. wo0t. by waste i suppose i mean use...
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October 28th, 2008
11:07 pm - thoughts on plato...
because otherwise i'll forget.
first of all.... training of the guardians. they are only to be subject to the best influences... anything coarse, vulgar, or considered potentially damaging to the soul will be kept from them. why? because by exposing them to such things they are lead to think it is "ok" to be that way. they musn't think this. apparantly plato thinks little of human nature, that it could be so easily destroyed by simple contact with impiety. people are easily corrupted. if they do not have safeguards in their minds. if they do not think. which, i suppose, children cannot. we want to protect our own children from damaging influence too. but how is this to be done? i want "what is best" for my child... is what i believe is best really best? clearly not in all cases. if i beat them or attempt to control them through fear, this is not best for them. they will suffer consequences later in life. but suffering can't be avoided completely. one cannot have everything they want exactly when they want it. so how do i draw the line between necessary and unnecessary suffering? based on what i value? ie if something is important enough to potentially harm someone. then again, saying something mean to someone doesn't equal harm. not necessarily. most people can be expected to react negatively to a given statement, but does that mean you are responsible for their feeling bad? its on them how they react? gah i am so obsessed with this idea lately, everything i think ends up here... moving oooooon...
also find it interesting the idea that doctors should not treat people who are ill through their own errors in lifestyle. suppose sickness is the result of bad decisions, but it seems that death is a hefty price to pay for the sake of inattention. then again, the whole thing is tied up in the fact that the purpose of human life is to fulfill one's duty to society perfectly. to do your job the best you can. if you cannot perform your function to its best, because you are half dead/dying/yeah... lol... then you may as well be dead because you can no longer fully life your life. hmmm....
there was something else.... noble lie. related to the first one i guess. tell people a quaint story to stop them from questioning their place in the world, and add in a little bit of hope on the side for their children so that they don't get too uppity. gah that word is impossible to spell. reminds me of flatland... i should read that again...
guy from class went into a rant about neocons when he saw what i was reading. we know best, you guys just go about your business... makes sense. the translators try to claim that plato wouldn't have agreed with that.. but why? just cause his values differed from theirs... the justifcation seems the same. (i think its funny that the translators put their personal opinions in the text...)
was so odd, like coming alive today. thinking all these thoughts. i haven't really thought about anything in days.... not like this, with ideas leading me on a crazy trail to unknown destinations... was on for 4 pages in my notebook about all sorts of things.. and then the second i got to class thoughts just... stopped. i couldn't do it anymore. mind blank. work does it too. like... too much outside imput interrupts.... devolve into something somewhat reactive. good thing i have the next two days free-ish... store up some thoughts to get me through the weekend.... teehee.
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August 25th, 2008
02:13 am - because when boredom strikes, you have no choice
Hair Color:
[ ] Black = $100
[x] Blonde = $50
[ ] Red = $75
[ ] Brown = $15
[ ] Bald = $5
[ ] Other=$2
Total: $50
Eye Color:
[ ] Brown - $150
[ ] Green - $75
[x] Blue $50
[ ] Hazel $100
[ ] Other - $15
Total so far: $100
Height:
[ ] Over 7' - $200
[ ] 6'8" to 7' - $175
[ ] 6'0" to 6'7" - $150
[X] 5'5" to 5'11" - $75
[ ]4'9" to 5'4" - $50
[ ] Under 4'9 - $45
Total so far: $175
Age:
[ ] 41 to 50 - $150
[ ] 31 to 40 - $100
[ ] 26 to 30 - $75
[x] 21 to 25 - $50
[ ] 19 to 20 - $25
[ ] 0 to 18 - $100
Total so far: $225
Birth Order:
[ ] Twins or more than twins - $300
[X] First Born - $300
[ ]Only Child - $250
[ ] second born - $150
[ ] Middle child - $100
[ ] Last Born - $200
[ ] third born - $100
[ ] fourth born - $100
[ ] fifth born-$375
Total so far: $525
Drink?
[ ] No - $400
[ ] Only Holidays - $250
[ ] Sometimes - $215
[ ] YES - $200
[x] only weekends - $300
[ ] Every other day - $50
[ ] Once a day - $15
[ ] I live from the bottle
Total so far: $825
Vision?
[ ] perfect vision $300
[ ] need or have glasses/contacts but don't wear them $200
[ ] No correction $100
[X]Glasses $50
[ ] contacts $25
[ ] Surgical correction -$1075
Total so far: $875
Car Color [or familes' car(s)]:
[ ] White - $2,000
[ ] Maroon - $800
[ ] Gold - $700
[ ]Gray - $600
[X] Blue - $900
[ ] Pink - $475
[X]Black - $450
[ ] Red - $400
[ ] Green- $350
[ ] Silver $300
[ ] Purple- $250
[ ] Metallic - $200
[ ] Yellow - $100
[ ] Primer - $75
[ ] Tan- $20
[ ] Rusted - $15
[ ] No Car - $0
Total score: $2225
Shoe Size:
[ ] 13+ - $300
[ ]12 and a half to 13 - $250
[ ] 11 to 12 - $700
[X] 7 to 10 - $600
[ ] Under 7- $550
Total so far: $2825
Favorite Colors (three):
[X] Green-$750
[X] Black - $600
[ ] Red - $800
[ ] Yellow -$475
[ ] Brown - $50
[ ] Purple - $225
[ ] White - $400
[ ] Aqua - $350
[X] Orange - $300
[ ] Blue - $300
[ ] Pink - $100
[ ] Other - $ 50
Total so far: $4475
Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[ ] Yes $0
[X]No-add $1000
[ ] on some- $750
Total so far: $5475
How many people are you going to tag?
[ ] 100-150 = 250,000
[ ] 90 - 80 = $100,000
[ ] 70 -60 = $50,000
[ ] 50 - 40 = $10,000
[ ] 30 - 20 = $5,000
[ ] 20 - 10 = $1,000
[x] 10 - 1 = $500 (nobody)
Total so far : $5975
Now add your number of pageviews : 1238
Total so far: $7213
AGE MEME
x = Yes
> = Half
[x] I know how to cook toast.
[x] I can do my own laundry.
[x] I can cook for myself.
[x] I actually enjoy intellectual conversations.
Total so far = 4
[x]I show up for school all of the time unless I'm sick.
[x] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse.
[ ]I've never gotten a detention.
[x] I've watched talk shows.
[x] drink coffee/tea at least once a week.
Total so far = 8
[x] I know how to run the dish washer and/or do the dishes.
[x] I can count to 5 in either Spanish/French /German/Italian/etc.
[x] When I say I'm going to do something I always do it.
[x] I can mow the lawn.
[x] I remember to water my plants.
[x] I study when I HAVE to.
[x] I pay attention at school most of the time.
Total so far = 15
[x] I can spell experience without looking it up.
[x] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need.
[x] I always understand jokes the first time they are said.
[x] I can type fast
Total so far = 19
[x] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour.
[x] I realize that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 20 and have a job.
[x] I can read a book and actually finish it.
Total so far = 22
[x] I knew that the alphabet and twinkle twinkle little star have the same rhythm.
[ ] You just checked. (xDDDD)
[x] You actually watch the weather.
total = 24
cool i'm the same age as... well... some really cool dude
ARE YOU MEME
~ Theater Kid ~ 6/10
[x] Ever been in a School play?
[x] Have you ever seen a Broadway/West End show?
[ ] Seen more than 10 shows?
[x] Have you ever been/Are you in school shows?
[ ] Does your current job involve theater in some way?
[ ] Want to end up working in/for theater?
[x] Can you recite all of the lyrics to your favorite play/musical?
[x] Do you break out into random songs
[ ] Do you like the Sound of Music?
[x] Did you like the Broadway show?
~ Redneck ~ 1/10
[ ] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
[ ] Do you drive a four-wheeler?
[ ] Do you ride four-wheelers?
[ ] Do you like to get dirty?
[ ] Do you like country music?
[ ] Do you have a broken car in your back yard?
[x] Do you own a cowboy hat?
[ ] Do you live on more then 1 acres?
[ ] Do you have more then 4 different animals at your home? (but 2 are the same species)
[ ] Do you watch Larry the Cable Guy movies?
~ Goth ~ 6/9
[x] Do you wear black eyeliner?
[x]Is most of your clothing dark?
[x] Do you think about death often?
[ ] Do you want to die?
[x] Are you a social outcast?
[ ]Are you pale?
[x] Do you own something from Hot Topic?
[x] Do you enjoy Tim Burton movies?
[ ] Are you mean?
~ Punk ~ 7/11
[x] Can you skateboard?
[x] Do you wear Vans, dcs, converse, ect.?
[x] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
[x] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops?
[ ] Do you watch the x-games?
[x] Do you have any piercings?
[ ] Do you like/wear a mohawk?
[x] Do you wear Band t-shirts?
[x] Are you a rebel without a cause?
[ ] Have you called someone a poseur recently?
[ ] Does it piss you off when people say poser instead of poseur?
~ Prep ~ 4/10
[x] Do you say the word "like" alot?
[ ] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch/AE/Aero?
[ ] Do the people in Hot Topic scare you?
[x] Do you laugh alot?
[ ] Have/do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?
[ ] Do you like pop music?
[ ] Do you want/have a little dog?
[x] Do you smile a lot?
[ ] Do you hang out with your friends a lot?
[x] Do you always carry a purse/wallet.
~ Hippie ~ 7/11
[ ] Is your hair long?
[x] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?
[x] Do you want to save the animals?
[x] Do you think war is unnecessary?
[x] Do you like classic rock and trippy music?
[x] Have you ever participated in a protest?
[x] Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?
[ ] Do you play a ukulele or os?
[x] Do/have you ever smoked the peace pipe?
[ ] Do you wear a peace sign around your neck?
[ ] Do you just sit in the grass with your friends and play guitar?
~ Gangsta ~ 3/9
[ ] Do you act ghetto?
[ ] Do you wear do-rags?
[ ] Do you like hip-hop?
[x] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?
[ ] Do you believe he's alive?
[ ] Do you like afros?
[x] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?
[x] Do you like to dance?
[ ] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?
~ Emo ~ 8/10
[ ] Do you cry often?
[x] Do you wear hoodies?
[x] Do you like hard music?
[x] Do people not understand you?
[x] Do you write your own poems?
[x] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?
[x] Have you ever cut yourself?
[x] Are you lonely?
[ ] Do you like ohio is for lovers by Hawthorne Heights?
[x] Do you think a lot?
~ Surfer ~ 5/8
[ ] Do you surf?
[ ] Do you wear flip flops year-round?
[x] Is your hair shaggy?
[ ] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?
[x] Do you own any pairs of shorts?
[x] Are you tan?
[x] Do you want to be at the beach right now?
[x] Do you hate tourists?
~ Geek ~ 5/10
[x] Do you wear glasses?
[x] Do you get good grades?
[ ] Do you use an inhaler?
[ ] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?
[ ] Does your mom pick out your clothes?
[x] Are you on the computer often?
[ ] Do you ever get picked on?
[x] Do you look forward to going to school?
[x] Are you shy around the opposite sex?
[ ] You play video games?
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August 24th, 2008
03:56 am
i am feeling cranky. i didn't get enough attention today. morrissey is annoying the crap out of me. and... last night i did something really fucking stupid. that about sums it up. i guess its just not been a good day. nothing wrong with that. tomorrow will be better. i just want someone to love me dammit.
in other news, my psychology professor is AMAZING. i came out of that class feeling totally exhilerated. i am SO GLAD that i signed up for it. if only the textbook was less than 120 dollars. blah.
haha i am just miss negativity today. lonliness is just gnawing at me for some reason. but i have a feeling that even if i was surrounded by friends i would still feel this way. because i have in the past. it has nothing to do with who is around me, but what is in my head, and right now my head is determined to make me feel as though no one cares for me. pariah status up in here. and that is bullshit. so. i relinquish my anger. brain, do your thing. i know i'll feel better in the morning.
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